and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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