we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
COCAINE IS GR8
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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