I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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