I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
