Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
