And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
