So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
