party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
