The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
