I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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