remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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