SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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