Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
