I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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