Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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