You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
