we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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