The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize