why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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