I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
