there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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