You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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