when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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