I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
