I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize