haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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