i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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