I have demons in me.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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