You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
