I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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