shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
