The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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