Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
