he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
