Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
