Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
