i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
