how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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