matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
