Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
