hotel room ftw
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
