i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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