Plan B is the new Plan A
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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