Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
