go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
