did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize