He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
