Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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