That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
