the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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