i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
it's like iHOP with fire
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
