New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize