Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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