false alarm. still invincible.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
