So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
