why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My vagina is officially offended.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
