If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
