You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
