tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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