She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize