so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
