Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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