My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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