You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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