I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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