He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
