I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i think i just lost a toe
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
