For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
