Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
