Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I supernannyed him into submission
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
