and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
